Fuck a 9 to 5

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I frequently read Forbes magazine and watch successful entrepreneurs testimonials on YouTube. And a lot of what I feel they have in common is the concept of doing what you love. Also contributing to the advancement of humanity.
  ” if you’re not doing what you love , then you’re bound to fail. Doing what you love will keep you going when things get difficult.” I believe Steve Jobs said something like this. That’s why I quit my job at an H.E.B warehouse. I felt like a slave. It wasn’t about the money it’s the feeling you get when you’re work. And I hated it.
I love the freedom of bikes , skateboards and anything having to do with the Arts. So what the he’ll was I doing in a warehouse, sounds like suicide for someone like me huh?
So I got a new job, working for an entrepreneur who started his own deli delivery business. And guess what I get paid to do? Take three guesses… Nope…. Nope… You’re right! Ride around downtown on my bike delivering food. Even if its something I don’t do long term I like it. I guess time will tell.

She said

What I did by setting you up yesterday was wrong but I can honestly say I never have lied to you and I don’t just go around looking for people I can hurt so no I’m not an opportunist I did love you and just wasn’t pushing you away I just wanted you to know and be sure if you wanna be in a relationship with me and deep down you know you didn’t so I got tired of trying to show you how much I cared about you and eventually I gave up not once did I ever try and use you and I will say it again I would never use you if I wanted something from you I wouldn’t have put so many feelings into something I know wasn’t gonna work out I wouldn’t put myself through that heartbreak or the person I still care for you and I pray you find somebody who makes you the happiest man in the world

The Sea and I #2

The sea and I #2
For awhile you’ve tested me,
Pushed pulled and scarred my hands and feet.
I admit your undertow was inviting me to an early death.
My heart bleed for the longing to be inside you.
Like every good woman you made me wait.
I came to you at my weakest physically but most determined state of mind.
And you accepted me.
Stroke, splashing inside you we rejoice.
I do love you as I long did before when I admired you from a far.
Upon the beach looking miserable.
Or on the mainland looking at you and your many sisters.

I patched my wounds
I remained persistent and stalked you.
Now I have you as my own and I love you.
You wash me over and over.
And love the feeling.
They throw salt because we are, but your salt water is delicious to my soul.
Safety and cleansing is what you offer
You whisper “no worries” sweetly in my ear.
My 808 love
Every wave that crashes is like your arms outstretched calling me.

And for your love I am grateful.

The House These Books Built

The House These Books Built
Shifting eyes
Ever so quick
Nether linger
Both hopeful in the silence that taste so sweet
Back and forth, unspoken words are thrown
Look!
I dare you to stare upon that which you desire
Does your heart speak
And if so
Do you agree?
Be brave young boys and girls
Love last.
Unspoken words and love faces
Shatter glass
Watch them , they watch you
We watch each other
But tread carefully
My love
No one shall speak
Shh

D.T.R.T. #2

I have the upmost respect for this woman. I’m twenty-one, and yes she is older than me, so of course her values and what she wants is different than mine. She has great jobs, has her own car, house and everything else a woman hopes to attain on her own. Except a family.
So, if you’re familiar with my first (Do the Right Thing) post you know what’s going on. Anyway, one night we get to talking about goals, out on the beach in Kailua. I tell her about acting and screenwriting, these are a few things I wish to pursue. I tell her about L.A. and how I will be leaving to follow my dream. She says that’s great, you know, in that tone that women have when they want to sound supportive but if really hurts on the inside. I understand why though. I ask about her goals and the first thing she says is a family. She says that she has already has everything else she could want. I’m thinking it makes since now. It makes sense when she disregarded my gesture to wrap myself up. But anyway, this was a while back and since then I’ve been feeling different towards her. I like her, a lot. She’s a great person. Now I find myself wanting more, I mean I’m not ready for a family but I wouldn’t mind being with her.
Last night I spoke on my feelings for her for the first time, and she totally shot me down. She said I’m not looking for the same thing she is. Now, she knows what I want to do with my life, she preferred to have sex without a condom so she can start her family, and now she has changed from wanting to start a family with me to wanting me to stick to “my” plan.
Now a days you have some women willing to have a baby with a man because he’s going places. For his money. They have athletes and musicians babies. Money, money, money. But I respect the fact that she sees what I want to do. Like, this kid has plans he’s not like these island boys out here, so it would be fucked up to trap him here like that. Exactly the way I see it. When she said that, I ain’t gonna lie I was in love. For someone to be so selfless. I give her the upmost respect, not that I didn’t before but it’s different now. That’s a grown ass women that I admire and I got so much love for her now.
But with that, I know it’s going to be different now. I wish things could stay the same before feelings made things complicated. Before we both were so vulnerable. But that life.

Pele

Alright, if you’ve been reading my blog you know about a certain situation that I got myself into. If you are not reading my blog and have no idea what I’m talking about, then start reading. I won’t elaborate on the situation too much but I will say that it involves a Hawaiian woman, lust, and the future.
In order for me to help you understand why this means so much, I need to help you understand who Pele is. The way she was explained to me by a local, was a very jealous, loving, and creative Goddess. She rules over the Big Island of Hawaii. They say every eruption from a volcano is a creation from her. It’s said that she often appears in red, lives in a volcano and sometimes kills her lovers. Lots of people here on the big island have claimed to see her dressed in red.
Well, in my dream Pele came out of the mouth of a volcano as it was erupting. She looked extremely angry. She grabbed a hold of me and pulled me inside the volcano.
I told this to my friend and she said as long as I wasn’t burned alive I would be okay. But I don’t remember any other part of the dream.
I recently meet a girl. She’s awesome. I told here that in the spring I would be leaving to LA. She never says anything bad about me leaving but I can see in her face she doesn’t want me to leave. So, then I have this dream about the Goddess of Hawaii pulling me into a volcano( her home). I could be making something out of nothing but it could also be a possibility that Pele is trying to communicate to me that I shouldn’t leave.

They lied to Us

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Hip-Hop nowadays leave no room for softness. You constantly have to be aggressive and attacking everything. Who lives like that? I mean for real. No one is that angry all day. Dont get me wrong I love hip-hop. I love listening to artist such as Tupac,… well Tupac might be the only hardcore hip-hop artist I listen to. Through it all, even on his more violent songs there was always elements of a uplifting power. It always left you inspired if you really listened to the content. You can’t be soft is hip-hop, you won’t last long. But to me it isn’t a surprise to find out a lot of my favorite rappers are gay.
Frank Ocean gets a lot of hate from many different people just for being who he is. Everyone always talks about being real. They say “I’m the realest”. Really? You are? You mean the rapper who’s really gay in reality but will never admit it? That’s not real. That’s why I applaud artists like Frank Ocean for being who he is. I’m not gay at all and I’m not ashamed to say I love this guys music. At the end of the day I’m a fan of the music not the man or women. Honestly. I’m not one of those people who focus on who the person is and forget about the music. But if your music doesn’t have content it’s a waste. I think if your gay just say your gay and live your life. There’s no need to lie to everyone. I think we’re in an age where we as a people are more understanding of things like this. Just be true to you and trust that God will take care of the rest.
Peace